Day 4

Had a busy day today lots to do. Went out this morning to pay hospital for Mel's surgery, then rang surgeon cause I was a little so got an appointment with him so Mel and I went to a cafe and had a drink while we waited. Went to our appointment and all is well I am just a paranoid mother lol. Then got a few odd jobs done and some cooking.

I am feeling pretty good at the moment I am still a little worried about going off my meds but it is still what I want so tomorrow I will be taking a smaller dose.

Ash start Netball tomorrow and she has never played before so it will be interesting but I am sure she will do well :)

Day 3

Mel and I went on a road trip today to my Mum's over in Tauranga just so we could get out of the house and to pick up some moving boxes so we are ready when it's our time to leave this house.

I had an anxiety attack today it's my first one in such a long time but it was after I bought our lunch. I had a small binge today but when I bought the food Mel and Dad were with me so that could have caused it because normally I do that stuff on my own. I didn't eat as fast as I normally did I had a break and then kept some for later.

I feel like I have my binging under control most of the time but I have to accept I'm not perfect and I will slip up from time to time and that is ok I don't have to beat myself up about it.

My next thing is exercise I have to set my Wii up and get moving but something is stopping me I do enjoy using it and I get an excellant workout maybe it's because Mel is home it is something I like doing alone so over the weekend I will set it up again and then next week get back into a routine.

I need to work on setting myself some short term goals so I have something to work towards so thats another thing for me to work on.

Day 2

So how was today hmmm I had a rough sleep waking up a couple of times which I hate so much. Then I had to go out and get the kids pants for school and got lost and couldn't find the place which was so frustrating and I was getting very angry and Mel was getting annoyed to which didn't help much. I also have T.O.M which isn't being nice to me this time and I have been in a lot of pain. Eating wise I had Subway for lunch while we were out and as soon as we got home the land agent came over cause he wanted to get some quotes for redecorating the house.

I'm in 2 minds about what to do with the house I know if we stay until it's sold we will save money but part of me wants to move and just get out of here but then it will cost us more when we move. I know what the right thing to do is but I just want to move on.

I decided to stay on my meds for another week before I start going down now may not be the right time with everything else going on. I just want to do the right thing.

I weighed myself this morning so I know my start weight for this journey.

SW: 141.2kgs
CW:141.2kgs
GW:85kgs

New Beginnings

I have done this before so many times but I am hoping this will be the last hehe. Basically I was diagnosed with an eating disorder which I am working on and getting help with it and I am also stopping my depression meds so I guess this Blog is a way for me to write down my feelings, my food diary and whatever I need to keep track of my weight, feelings and life in general.